Somnambulism
by helenadeesparta
Summary: Draco Malfoy have a weird form of somnambulism, which includes trying to kill himself in sleep every now and then. Good thing a sad and bored Harry Potter is always there to catch him, even though he do not realizes that all he needs is someone to care for. Draco have a different opinion about all that saving thing. (Rated M to later chapters).


**Title: ****_Somnambulism_**

**Warnings: ****_Boy/boy, Slash, Top!Harry (some people like to know, like me... for example) Cute, stuborn Draco._**

**Disclaimer: ****_I do not own Harry Potter, or any of its sequences._**

**Author's Note: **

Hello! Welcome to my first fanfiction!

'Cause this is my first Fanfic. First fanfic written in english. First fanfic written in english about Harry Potter. So... Be nice .

Have I mentioned this is my first fanfiction written in english? Yeah, bacause I'm brazilian, So english it's my second language.

The idea came when I was listening to a brazilian song about a sleepygirl and, as the conversation goes, my mother told me that some people actually attemp to kill themselves in their sleep, and wake up scared and confused. She told me because I am too a sleepwalker.

Some people who died in the book are alive, and some people who were alive are dead. Read and find out.

Eighteen Harry and Draco. Some humor, fluffy, and sad stuff.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

* * *

_"Let the devil take tomorrow_

_'Cause tonight I need a friend"_

_ Elvis Presley._

* * *

**HPOV**

**H**arry potter sat down on his bed, after waking up from a very real pleasant dream, which included flowers in a field. Everything was sweet and wonderful.

Now he was sitting on his bed, and everything was still really wonderful. The evil was done. The good people, alive – well, most of them- and he was the savior. He must be really happy.

Except that he wasn't.

Since he killed Voldemort, and Hogwarts was fixed, everything around him was settling down. People were recovering from their mourning over loved ones who died. And even among the things he had lost, smiles pop out every now and them, and were becoming more and more frequents.

But his smiles were becoming rarer. And he didn't understand that at all.

Why he couldn't Let. It. Go? He was becoming paranoid, looking over his shoulders, waiting for a fight everywhere. But it was never there. He was starting to feel betrayed by his own ghosts. Have the troubles forgotten him? Running away from The Prophet and the constant false rumors weren't real battles. But he didn't really want to feel adrenaline back in his veins. Yet, he just couldn't enjoy happiness.

It was something that was missing in the jigsaw puzzle.

But he pushed it aside. Harry looked at the watch, and it was perfectly 8:00 in the morning. The perfect time to wake up. The perfect time for a shower. Indeed he was really well rested. Everything was just great.

So he went to his shower, wishing to die.

He was in the great hall for breakfast in half an hour and a little grumpy. Since they were back to Hogwarts three months had already gone through, and the houses in the school were clearly getting along with each other. Even the Slytherins weren't too much trouble now, and some of them were found of some Gryffindors. He even saw Blaise flirting with Ginny sometimes. Harry wanted to puke.

"Harry, what's up?" He look up with his mouth full of food, looking for whoever made him stop from hitting angrily the fork against his plate like he was doing since he sat down. It was Ron.

"What now?"

Ron Lift his arms in defeat, while Ginny looked at him with worry in her eyes.

"You look like you wake up, put on your glasses and hit yourself against a wall a couple of times!"

"I'm fine, Ginny." Harry went back to cutting his food with the fork, because the knife obviously made the job too much easy.

"That's what you always say Harry, and it's never true."

"Well, I'm working on it"

That's when he saw Malfoy walking in. He sat at his house table and quickly looked down. Harry had the impression that the boy saw him with the corner of his eyes, because he was blushing again. The blond were doing that too much lately, and it was weird.

Actually, Malfoy were totally weird since he gone back too Hogwarts and his father died in Azkaban. Nobody ever saw the blond around too much. He almost never came down for lunch or dinner, having only breakfast, and always eating too little amounts of food. Nobody followed Malfoy around, and his friends were almost never there. The only ones who talked to him was Blaise, oh— and Parkinson, who now were dating Gregory, which made Harry wanted too puke again just by thinking about it.

Malfoy were too thin and pale too, even for him. He was always curled as if with cold, and had dark circles under his eyes. When somebody called him, he always turned slowly; taking his time and his answer always delayed two seconds, as if processing what he wanted to say. Malfoy never did that to him; he always spited everything who pass through his _cute_ little blond head and— _wait_ _a minute! _

"-rry! What's wrong with you?!"

Hermione voice made him jump, and he just realize he was staring Malfoy all this time.

"Sorry, didn't mean to, got distracted" Looking over his shoulder just one more time, he saw Malfoy ears going red. That was it, Harry would find out what the bloody git thought he was doing with all this weirdness and shit, and make him spit everything out.

"Well, you're doing it again! Seriously, why are you staring at Malfoy so much?"

"I think he's hiding something. He's all weird." He said, more to himself than to Hermione.

"Well, I don't think he has an evil plot to destroy you this year, Harry. I don't trust Malfoy too much neither, but this time I actually believe he just want a little bit of piece."

"Really Ron?" Harry didn't mean to say it with such an irritated tone, but Ron was supposed to be by his side.

"Yeah! I mean, he didn't started any fights until now, and even said sorry to us when me and 'Mione run into him in the corridor. And we were the ones to blame, 'cause all of his stuff fell and..."

"And he thanked me when I helped him!" Hermione said, \as if making an important point.

".. And then he grumbled something about me being a clumsy love bird, but this is Malfoy after all… And he didn't said it to start any fight, he even sound bored."

Ron got a little bit red, and Harry guessed why he were distracted, walking with Hermione and everything.

"If he is so pacific like you guys say, why doesn't he have any friends anymore? And why isn't he happy?" It looked like a good point to Harry, but he won nothing more than pity faces.

"Well, After his father messing with his head enough to make him believe he was on the right side of the war, Malfoy were brave enough jump to the right side against his own father, then his father died and his mother went to Azkaban. I think people have a little prejudice over him, like you're doing right now Harry. People can change."

Harry sighed loudly, relaxing, a little bit guilty by her friend accusation.

"I know… I think it's just me wanting something to fix again."

_Bloody hero complex_, Malfoy would say, then make some idiot commentary about his scar, and walk away from his life. The way he was so clearly trying to do.

Harry should be happy because it was all he ever wanted. But to his surprise he didn't liked this feeling at all.

* * *

_"Like the morning star_

_And the rising sun_

_You convey my life_

_And forgive me what i´ve done"_

_Forever_

* * *

**DPOV**

**D**raco did not had a good night of sleep since his father died. But it was okay. It's not like someone cared anyway. He tried not to give them a chance to, so he stayed most of the time in his private room, which every eight year got. He tried to sleep that night too, but his father, as soon he closed his eyes, were there in his nightmares, chasing him, making he regret every single second he lived in that war since he pass to the Good side. "_The good side"_, he snorted, where just as bad as the evil side. There was no violence against him, no one forced him to do anything, but the looks of pity or prejudice were much more painful.

He made his way to the Great hall, to eat something, cause last night he didn't had dinner. Or lunch. Or anything really.

But one thing, he thought, were worse than anything that could ever had happened to him. It had ridiculous glasses, and stupid green eyes. It started with Harry and ended with Potter. Just like everything in his life.

And there he was, in the Great Hall, on his table looking at him. He sat down with his back to the boy.

The only dreams he had that didn't make he want to cry in rage, but burry himself alive, were the ones in which Potter were there.

Holding him.

Telling everything was going to be _okay_.

It wasn't anything sexual, at least he had that. It was just a friendly hug, a kiss in his hair, and promise failing to be truth every time he opened his eyes.

That hurt him more than any scar he pinched to make sure he was still there.

And the more he made himself absent from everybody's life, more Potter looked at him, with angry and confusion in his eyes. It was one of this times that Draco wanted to punch him in the face until Potter dropped dead, because he never _understood_ Draco. Could him just please stop staring at him? Would Draco have to make an printed request for Potter look the fuck away?

It made Draco embarrassed.

It was cruel and pointless, and Draco decided he would stop to come to breakfast too and just steal something from the kitchen every day, just like lunch and dinner.

Trust Harry Potter to fuck his life just one more time.

And with that, Draco stood up and leave, too much queasy to eat anything anyway. He went to Charms class.

* * *

**HPOV**

**H**is second classes were Potions, and Malfoy was there already. Probably the first to arrive, Harry thought. Malfoy looked like shit, tired and away with his thoughts. Harry wanted to know what he was thinking. He did his best not to stare for too long, only looking one more time to the blond hair, falling loose and without gel, soft, the way Malfoy were doing lately, as if he had no more proud of his image in the mirror, doing only the necessary. Harry thought that despite the tired face, he was so much cuter that way, and then dismissed the thought quickly.

_Because that was weird._

About halfway through the class, Slughorn was done with the explanation about the new potion they were supposed to brew, something about healing internal damages, and Malfoy was slowly trying to stand up to get to the ingredients. Harry was almost done with them, and noticed the boy shaking a little bit and trying to stay steady on his feet. Harry was wondering if Malfoy actually ate something that morning, when he began to come back to his table. But Malfoy let something make of glass fall on the floor. Harry looked back and ran to his side seconds before Malfoy pass out on his arms.

"What did you do, Potter!" Harry shake his head in disbelieve, could someone actually think **he** had made this? Everybody clearly saw Malfoy falling to the floor by himself; Harry was just there in time so the boy wouldn't hit his head against the floor.

"I did nothing Zabini! He just fell"

Parkinson were on his side in seconds, kneeling and moving the hair from Malfoy face. He was sweating.

"Come on sweet heart, wake up… Professor!"

Harry just realize he was still holding Malfoy on his arms, but didn't quite wanted to drop him on the floor and look cruel, which made the situation even more awkward. Blaise was standing up in front of Potter, and Hermione was trying to get between the two, talking low to Blaise.

"Calm down everybody!" Slughorn made his way to Malfoy and started to levitate him to the hospital wing, Parkinson on his heels, Blaise follow him, looking preoccupied just like Parkinson. The other students were gossiping across the room, but took their seats, not quite sure what to do.

Hermione help Harry to his feet as they took their seats too.

She looked at Harry, as if he was hiding something "What was that?"

"I have no idea, I swear he just fell!" Hermione looked hurt.

"I know! I'm not accusing you Harry." She put her hand in his shoulder.

"He looks thin; I don't think he's eating. It's probably just that. Come on, it's Malfoy. He's just fine." Harry sighed, as if tired too. But something inside him jumped when he felt Malfoy's body in his arms, the weight so light, the skin too fragile. _He it's not fine_.

* * *

_"And it's sad to be alone_

_Help me make it through the night"_

_Elvis Presley_

* * *

**DPOV**

**D**raco didn't know what happened, but it wasn't good. People were supposed to be able to stand up without seeing black points everywhere. And to walk without feeling like the floor was moving without them. And to catch a bottle without letting it fall.

He didn't succeed in any of that. He knew he would faint seconds before he did, and he prepared himself to the pain, but it never came. Instead he felt nice arms embracing him, and it smelt like Potter. He thought he must have been dreaming already, and gave in to the darkness.

He woke up some time later in another smooth place. He turned around to bury his face in it, but it didn't smelt like Porter. He opened his eyes, and he saw a white bed sheet. Definitely not Potter. _He doesn't look good in white_. And then his head begun to hurt like someone has thrown a brick against it. He put his hands through his hair closing his eyes firmly shut, and let out a whine.

"You're awake then Mr. Malfoy" Now, that was McGonagall. Another whimper. For a totally different reason.

"Not quite." He opened one eye, as if scared of what was coming. _A good lecture, that's what it's coming._

"Draco! Oh Merlin, you're fine!" Pansy run to his bed, her preoccupied face turning into a pissed face "I can't believe you didn't ate anything today! Actually you didn't ate anything yesterday too! And I know you're not sleeping I can see in your face – and don't look at me like that, I'm not forgiving you –"

"Now, now, Ms. Parkinson, let the punishment part with me, will you?"

"McGonagal, believe me I tried so hard to make him eat, but he just won't let me take care of him!"

"I believe you, Ms. Parkinson, now can you please leave me and Mr. Malfoy alone?" She said, and then glared at Draco, who looked down, guilty. "We have a lot to talk about."

Pansy nodded, and Blaise patted Draco in the shoulders, then the both leave.

McGonagal took her time. Sitting on the chair beside the bed Draco was on, waiting he sat down. Then she began.

"Draco, I know things are hard since your father died. I know it's hard to trust on people, and even more now that every house is getting along with the other, it's hard to know who is being false with you. But we all know why you made the choice of moving to our side, and you did very well. Snape death may have been hard on you too, but do not act like your life has ended."

"I'm not acting like—"

"Do not interrupt me. You have friends here Draco, and yes, I know only two of them you trust completely, but you have to remember that even the fewer friends can be, and mostly are, more trustable than one million. Now, are you going to tell me why you look like someone just brought you out of the grave?"

Draco looked down one more time, breathing slowly, trying to control the rage. He knew that she only wanted to help, which made it even worse to look at her in the eye. He knew he would see pity.

"I'm having nightmares."

"Did you have tried the potions I gave you?"

"It didn't work! None of them worked! Last night I woke up and I was with a knife on my throat! My bloody throat! Well, it wasn't bloodied yet, but I almost…" He felt some tears trying to get out, and closed his eyes to recompose himself.

"So the somnambulism it's getting worse. I'm sorry Draco but I'll have to leave a house elf to watch your sleep, or at least somebody." She paused. "Do you think somebody it's controlling you through the sleep? Making you try to commit suicide?"

"I… I d-don't know." He looked at her, fear on his eyes "Do you think?"

"Let's not say anything about it by now, since no one's sure. But don't worry, all the important persons will be informed of your condition and we will find out what's wrong. Now, Draco, why are you not eating?"

"I'm trying to kill myself every night against my own will, and you worrying about food?!"

She narrowed her eyes. "There is no need to be bitter. You are not dead yet, you have to eat."

Draco shook his head.

"You don't know what it is to sleep in the safety of your own bed, not knowing if you're going to wake up in the next day."

"You will definitely not wake up in the next day if you don't eat. Do you want to make sure? Draco, do you want to die?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" He glared at her, not answering the question.

She ignored the rudeness. "I'm going to make Parkinson or Blaise Zabini – since you trust them—to make sure you don't skip breakfast, lunch and dinner. If you don't eat, it will only make you weaker to fight for your life Draco. Now it's time for you to fight with everything you have, because your only enemy now it's you. We can't save you from yourself; we can't help you if you don't want to be saved. Do you understand?"

Draco breathed heavily, as if in defeat. "I- I understand."

"Did you had any good night of sleep in the past week?"

"I had a couple of dreams that did not involved my father trying to kill me, yes."

_But I'm not going to tell you what it was!_

"Did you spot anything that may have been the cause of the absence of nightmares? Did something made you relax? Can you remember?"

"I…"

_Bloody Potter; just have to save somebody from something even in the dream world!_

"It's important to you keep an eye on this kind of thing, because if you stay too much time awaken, you can even suffer a heart attack."

"I don't know okay? I'm going to try to, but I can't even remember what I dreamed of."

Draco saw the lie coming out through his teeth and didn't even tried to stopped it. There's was no way he was going to let Potter know about his dreams, and if Draco had to die because of it, he would.

McGonagal finally stood up, letting Draco sleep in the hospital wing a little bit more, or try to, and gave him another Dreamless Potion, even though the last one didn't worked. But Draco called her one last time, and she turned to him.

"Yes, Draco?"

"Hmm... Who- Who… Did I hit my head when I felt? I was in pain."

"No. I believe Mr. Potter was by your side and catch you before that happen. It's that all?"

"Yes."

_Bloody Potter._

And with that, Draco went to sleep, trying to hold in the memory of strong arms embracing him, telling beautiful little lies, about how everything was going to be okay.

* * *

_"I was a liar in every debate_

_I rule the forces that fueled your hate_

_When the cold in my heart leaves_

_It comes to an end_

_And quietly I'll go to sleep"_

_The Hauting_

* * *

**May I have your attention, please? :**

_Well... Was it okay? . I hope it was. If everything went okay, I keep on. I mean If I don't kill myself of shame, in the morning, when I read this again._


End file.
